Some years ago, I stood at the edge of a professional cliff. After what was then a successful 20-year career, I found myself facing a pivotal moment. I had just left a company where I had grown steadily over many years. It provided stability, a strong foundation, and a clear trajectory. But something didn’t feel right. I was increasingly at odds with the company’s direction and its values.
So, when an offer came from a major Asian multinational undergoing a dramatic transformation after a massive debt bailout, I took it. It felt like the right kind of challenge.
The decision meant uprooting my life and that of my family relocating to a different country, entering a new industry, and committing fully to a future that felt full of promise. But transitions rarely unfold as we expect. While the role itself was exciting, the broader company strategy faltered. Two years later, I found myself adrift, out of sync with my former industry, my old identity in flux, and my next step completely unclear.
It was a transition on steroids. That moment changed everything about how I now work with others who face similar inflection points in their own lives. As a leadership coach, I’ve come to see these periods not as failures or detours, but as the most fertile ground for profound growth.
The “Lifequake”: When Your Foundations Are Shaken
Author Bruce Feiler describes these moments as “lifequakes”—events that shake our foundations and demand reinvention. They are often sudden, disorienting, and nonlinear. In his research for Life Is in the Transitions, Feiler discovered that the average person goes through three to five major lifequakes in their lifetime, with each transition period lasting five years or more.
This resonates deeply with what I see as a leadership coach. Clients often come to me when a lifequake hits: a redundancy, a major career pivot, a personal crisis that spills into their professional life, or the quiet realisation that the ladder they have been climbing is leaning against the wrong wall. These are not small shifts; they are identity-level events that force us to question everything.
A leadership coach provides a steady hand during these seismic shifts. The goal is not to prevent the ground from shaking, but to help leaders find their footing, make sense of the chaos, and begin building something new on the shifting terrain. My own experience of being in that disorienting space allows me to guide others with empathy, not just theory.
Change vs. Transition: A Critical Distinction
William Bridges, whose work in The Way of Transition remains foundational, offers a complementary lens. He drew a crucial distinction between change and transition. Change is external and situational, a new job, a new boss, a new strategy. Transition, however, is the internal, emotional, and psychological process of adapting to that change.
A skilled leadership coach works in the realm of transition. Bridges’ model outlines three essential phases that anyone undergoing significant change must navigate:
- The Ending: This is about letting go of what was. It involves acknowledging the loss of a role, an identity, a team, or a familiar way of working. It’s a phase often marked by resistance, sadness, and nostalgia. Rushing this stage is a common mistake; without a proper ending, a true beginning is impossible.
- The Neutral Zone: The TQ training reframed this as the “messy middle”, a term I like – a liminal, uncertain space where transformation occurs. Old ways are gone, but new ones have not yet formed. It’s uncomfortable and ambiguous. That post-corporate cliff moment for me? It was a textbook neutral zone. Back then, it felt chaotic and unnerving. Looking back, I can see it was the fertile ground where something new could finally take root. As a leadership coach, I help clients endure the discomfort of this phase by framing it as a creative space, not a void.
- The New Beginning: This is the emergence of a new identity, a new purpose, and a new direction. It’s not just about starting a new role; it’s about showing up as a renewed version of yourself, with new energy and a clearer sense of what matters. This phase is the reward for navigating the previous two with intention.
A Framework for Navigating the Messy Middle
One of the most affirming tools I encountered later in my own journey came from the Transitional Intelligence (TQ) framework, developed at the Modern Elder Academy. TQ expands on traditional concepts of intelligence, recognising that navigating transitions well is a core life competency. It requires self-awareness, purpose, and perspective.
The TQ model doesn’t treat transition as a temporary disruption; it views it as an opportunity for growth. It invites us to ask powerful questions that a leadership coach can help unpack:
- What is trying to end in my life? This question encourages us to identify what we need to let go of, whether it’s a belief, a behaviour, or an identity that no longer serves us.
- What am I learning in this uncertainty? The neutral zone is a place of immense learning. This question shifts the focus from anxiety to curiosity.
- What deeper purpose is called to be expressed? This prompts us to look beyond immediate goals and connect with a more profound sense of meaning and contribution.
In my work as a leadership coach, I use this framework to help clients reframe disruption as an opening. It’s a chance to shift their focus from external markers of success to internal measures of significance, from “what I do” to “who I am becoming.”
The Power of Lived Experience in a Leadership Coach
Over a 40-year career that took me across five different industries and seven countries, I’ve navigated M&A integrations, redundancies, culture shock, and multiple personal and professional reinventions. At the time, I didn’t always have the language to recognise these moments as transitions. But looking back, the pattern is clear: each inflection point was both a loss and an invitation. I can now see how I moved through the TQ framework, even without knowing it existed.
This lived experience is the most valuable tool I bring to my clients. When an executive feels lost after a role change, or a leader feels stuck and unsure how to reinvent themselves, I don’t just offer a theoretical model. I meet them with genuine empathy. I know the terrain because I have walked it myself. As a leadership coach, my role isn’t to “fix” their situation, but to walk beside them, providing perspective and a safe space to explore. I know it’s possible to emerge from the messy middle stronger, wiser, and more aligned.
Transitions are deeply personal, but they are also profoundly coachable. This applies to a wide range of scenarios:
- An executive moving out of a high-stakes role and asking, “What’s next?”
- A leader feeling a growing misalignment with their company’s mission.
- An individual confronting the emotional aftershocks of a role loss, redundancy, or retirement.
In these moments, what people often need isn’t a five-step plan. It’s perspective. Coaching creates a reflective space to ask powerful questions that cut through the noise:
- What chapter of my life or career is ending?
- What beliefs or roles are no longer serving me?
- What values and visions want to shape the next season of my life?
A leadership coach holds space for the grief, fear, and uncertainty that accompany any major transition. But the ultimate goal is always to help the individual move forward, with greater clarity, courage, and a renewed connection to what truly matters.
Transitions Are Not the Detour, They Are the Path
The journey through transition is never linear. It’s messy, meaningful, and deeply human. Whether triggered by choice or by circumstance, it invites us to let go of old identities and uncover something more authentic in the process.
If there is one thing I have learned through decades of personal and professional reinvention, it is this: we are not meant to navigate these significant transitions alone. A leadership coach, grounded in real-world experience and wise frameworks like those from Bridges and the Modern Elder Academy, becomes a powerful ally. The objective is not to rush through the transition but to walk through it fully, embracing the lessons it holds.
Because what emerges on the other side is not just a new job or a different title. It is a renewed self, ready to lead with greater purpose and authenticity.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does a leadership coach do?
A leadership coach partners with individuals to help them develop the skills, mindset, and strategies necessary to thrive in leadership roles. They provide guidance during periods of transition, help clarify goals, improve decision-making abilities, and cultivate emotional intelligence. Through personalised support, they empower leaders to harness their strengths and address challenges effectively, fostering personal growth and professional success.
Is leadership coaching worth it?
For many, leadership coaching is a highly worthwhile investment. It offers a dedicated space to reflect, gain clarity, and develop the tools needed to address specific challenges or transitions. Leadership coaching can lead to greater confidence, better communication, and enhanced resilience, not just in professional settings but also in personal life. The benefits of working with a leadership coach often ripple beyond the individual, positively impacting teams and organisations as well.
